Sunday, July 5, 2009

Sardars are back!!!

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....


A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR


A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "

A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"

A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard.. . BOLO tarara!!

Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept....... .



A little kid on a plane asked his mom

"If big elelephants have baby elephants

and big giraffes have a baby giraffes,

then to big air planes have baby air planes?"


His mom told him to ask the flight attendant.

The flight attendant responded..

"No sweetie, we're American Airlines

"
"
"
"
"
"
"

and we always pull out in time."

**************
Two boys argue over whose parents are better.

The first boy says,

"My dad's better than your dad."

The other boy says,

"Well, my mom is better than your mom."

The first boy pauses,

"I guess you're right.
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"

My dad says the same thing."


***********
This is crime story. Five friends lived in a room, Namely MAD, BRAIN, FOOL, NOBODY, SOMEBODY.
One day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police.
MAD: Is it police station???
Police: Yes, what is the matter??
MAD: SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police: Are you mad?
MAD: Yes, I"m MAD.
Police: Don`t you have BRAIN.
MAD: BRAIN is in bathroom....
Police: you FOOL...
MAD: No, FOOL is reading this joke

**************
Ishq me dil ka tamasa dekha nahi jata,


humse tuta hua sisa dekha nahi jata,


apne hisse ke sare


sms aapko de du kyonki


mujhse aapka kangal


sms Box dekha nahi ja ta.
************

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,



Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,



Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya.

**************

Girls Psychology !!!


Fraud with Innocent Boys


Fun with Handsome Boys




Friendship with Charming Boys


Contact with Intelligent Boys


Flirt with Freaky Boys


Love with Faithful Boys


& in the end


Marriage with the Rich Boy

*****
A Gorgeous Girl walks up 2 Profesor's cabin & says:

I'll do anything 2 Pass d Exam.

Prof: Anything?

Girl: Ya

Prof: ??

Girl : Ya !!

Prof: Then Go & study...!!

********


Drop the Baby



Why did you drop the baby?



Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby,


so I wanted to see if he did.

*************

Santa - Main tumse Shaadi nahi kar sakta.


GF - Kyon!


Santa - Mere ghar wale mana kar rahe hain.


GF - Kaun hai!


Santa - Meri bibi aur baache.


**************
Banta ke ghar ladka hua,


par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?


Kyon?




Itne saalo baad,


itni manato ke baad ladka hua wo bhi



chhota sa...!



**************



SARDARJI RETURNS...


Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.


At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup....

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Police officer in a small town stopped a motorist
who was speeding down Main Street. The
man began, "Officer, I can explain."

"No explanation needed!" snapped the Officer.
"I'm going to let you cool your heels in
the jail until the chief gets back."

The man tried again. "But Officer, please
wait, I have to tell you something.
Please listen to me."

"Just keep quiet! You broke the law, it’s an offense.
Why only tell how? I cannot let you go. You're
going to jail and I'm not interested in what
you have to say!" the Officer barked.

A few hours later in the jail, the Officer looked in
on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you the
chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll
be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the
fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
At a party, during discussions, I casually said " I am the head of the family".

Surprisingly, my wife laughed & acknowledged this fact.

She then said " Yes , he is the head of the family, but I am the neck".

At this a few friends asked what that meant.

"Simple", she said smilingly. "I can turn the head which ever way I want"...........

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