Monday, April 27, 2009

हा हा Ha

"Classic definition & Cool Meanings in new dictionary "




1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.


2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.


3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master .


4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage .


5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".


6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...


9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.


10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.


11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.


12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.


13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


16. Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


17. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.


19. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.


20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.



22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."


24. Pessimist : - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .


25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.


26. Father: A banker provided by nature.


27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.


28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.


31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...



" You can't have any successes unless you can accept Failure "



Thief machine








In U.S. they invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out to different countries for a test.

In U.S.A,

in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;

In UK ,

in 30 minutes it caught 50 thieves;

In Spain ,

in 30 minutes it caught 65 thieves;

In Ghana ,

in 30 minutes it caught 600 thieves;

In India ,

in 15 minutes the machine was stolen!!! Jai Ho!!!

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