Friday, February 6, 2009

Watch what you say in front of kids and a nudist Colony [Humour]‏

When my daughter was 6 years old, I learned a very valuable lesson.

We had a neighbor who almost never cooked for her family.
They always had take out food for dinner or they ate with us.

When they ate at our house they would comment on my cooking all through
the meal, "Oh, this is so good, Home-cooked meals are the best," etc.

I am a working mother, but I always find a way to throw something
together, so I made a comment to my husband after they left one night.

Then one day my daughter yelled from the front room,

"Mom, what's that lady's name that you said was too lazy
to cook for her family?"

I answered, "Who, so-and-so?"

And she said, "Yeah, that's her. She's here to borrow two eggs....."

( .. I am sorry Lord ...)
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
How To Slow Down Traffic
(A lesson in what experience can teach you)

A farmer lived on a quiet, rural highway.

But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate.
It became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run
over at a rate of three to six a day.

So he called the sheriff's office and said,
"You've got to do something about all of these people
driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."

"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.

"I don't care, just do something about these drivers."

So the next day the sheriff had the county go out and put
up a sign that said:


Three days later, the farmer again called the sheriff and said,
"That sign didn't help a bit. They are still hitting my chickens."

So the next day, the county put up a sign that said:


Again, no change. So the farmer called and called,
every day for three weeks.

Finally, he told the sheriff, "Look, your signs are just
not working. Mind if I put up one of my own?"

The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, let's see if yours
works better." He was willing to agree to anything to
get him to stop those daily calls.

Well, the sheriff got no more calls from the farmer.

After three weeks, he decided to call the farmer and
see how things were going.

"Did you put up your sign?"

"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed
since. I've got to go. I'm very busy." And he hung
up the phone.

The sheriff thought to himself, "I'd better go have a
look at that sign. There might be something there that
WE could use to slow down drivers..."

So the sheriff drove out to the farmer's house, and he
saw the sign. It was on a whole sheet of plywood.
Written in large, yellow letters were the words:
Take a guess..
OK .. here you go .. Better slow down ...


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