A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover। He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!" Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, andbreakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes and shoes off, you said, "LADY, LEAVE ME ALONE॥! I'M MARRIED..... !" Moral Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00 Broken crockery - $ 800.00 Breakfast - $ 10.00 Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "
Time Please Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please? Old Man: Certainly not। Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to lose,if You tell me the time? Old Man: Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time. Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how? Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time. Young Man: Quite possible. Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address. Young Man: Quite possible. Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again.This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.? Young Man: Possible Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you & you will admire my daughter. Young Man: Smiles. ;) Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you. Young Man: Smiles Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage. Young Man: Smiles Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission. Young Man: Oh Yes! And smiles Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch. ALWAYS KEEP SMILING
HI! HOPE YOU ENJOY IT
Tomato Story A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft। The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start. The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'. 'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.' The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ... He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied,'I don't have an email.' The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!' Moral of the story Moral 1 Internet is not the solution to your life.Moral 2 If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.Moral 3 If you received this message by email, you are closer to being a office boy/girl,than a millionaire. ......... .
The King and the Sage
Once there was a king who was always fighting. One day he was badly wounded in a battle. A sage passed by and touched him, and the king was cured. He wanted to give the sage a reward for saving him, but the sage didn't want anything.
The king said, "I don't want to be indebted to you."
The sage said, "In the future I'll ask for something. I don't need anything now, but one day I'll come."
Months passed and the sage was praying to God one day for peace, light and bliss, when a desire entered his mind. For the past few months his cow had not been producing milk. "She's old," he said. "I'll ask the king for a new cow."
He went to see the king and found him in a temple. He was praying for more wealth and more fame. The sage said to himself, "I won't ask him for a cow. He's a beggar like me." And he turned to leave.
The king stopped him and said, "Sage, you saved my life. Please tell me what you want. I'll give you anything."
The sage said, "I pray to God and meditate. He is all I need. I don't want to take anything from anyone in need. You told me you took an oath that you would not be indebted to anyone. I, too, have taken an oath. My oath is that if anyone is in need, then I won't take anything from that person. That's why I won't take anything from you. You're praying to God for material things. You're begging for God to give you wealth and fame. So how can I ask anything of you? God has shown me that everyone is a beggar. So if I need something, I'll get it from Him."
The Silversmith Story
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bagavat GITA Study.That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it" If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.************ ****Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them.And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end."Life is a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can only spend it once."